I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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