i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
