I'm pants shitting drunk right now
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
