as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
