I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
