The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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