i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
