his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
