You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
