Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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