I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
