it hurts more in the daytime
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I'm at about main and main street
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Randomize
