I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
