singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
