Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
