Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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