somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
i think i just naturally attract stoners
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
