I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
