If i come over, it means nothing
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
