worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
