i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
