I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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