so explain again why im purple
no
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
