Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
