Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
