he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Floor bacon is actually really good
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
