I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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