It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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