Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
She even gives head with a lisp.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
