He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I can text with my tongue
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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