You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
