I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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