Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
