just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
