Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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