you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
