girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
