i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
