don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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