How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize