Apparently you make a good broom.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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