Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
He felt like a one man threesome
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize
