There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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