He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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