he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
