a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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