I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize
