she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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