i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
