There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
