We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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